I Don't Want to Know

Yesterday, before the torrential rain began to pour, Sonya and Preacher were outside enjoying what they didn't know to be the last dry day for the next four days. Sonya found a bone, and started going to town on it. I had a ball for Preacher, but he didn't want anything to do with it. He wanted the bone.

*Netty, may I get a bone too?*

No, there's only one bone.

*Netty, may I pleeeease have a bone?*

Understand Preach, there is only one bone! As if he understood the logic I was dishing out.

*I'll sit. I'll do anything you say. Puh-leeeeeeeez, give me a bone!*

Do you think Preacher is capable of having human thoughts? I can just imagine what he's thinking...

 

*Up yours then! I don't want a stupid bone!*

Lo, the canine gives me the finger! Er, the toe.

Truth be told, Preach is too soft hearted to be so vulgar. That extended toe is medically referred to as a "slipped toe". The ligament (or ligaments) that pulls the toe tight must have torn during one of Preachie's scuffles with Sonya. It happens. 

It won't affect his ability to walk, run, jump, you know things dogs do. It just looks very dramatic because Doberman Pinschers have naturally tight paws, like those of a cat's. Thank goodness his show career is no more, huh. No worries, Dr. Jessica says that a slipped toe is not going to hinder him from performing. In fact, Preacher doesn't even show any discomfort or pain.

So next time I don't give Preacher what he wants, I won't take it too personally when he says  *Speak to the toe, 'cause I don't want to know!*

My Preachie would never give me the toe! 

Would he?

Spoiled and Spoiled

Sonya and Preacher. Sister and brother. Spoiled and spoiled. Don't let those dejected faces and half-mast ears fool you. They act like they don't get enough to eat, but that's just a ploy to get table scraps.

Preacher, the drooler. The smell of cooking alone can get that fire hydrant going. He'll eat anything. Anything! Blue berries, oranges, spinach, peas. Anything! Again, don't let those sad eyes fool you, it's a ploy to get you to give him a piece of cheesecake.

That's her royal highness Sonya, wearing my sweater,  As you can see, she doesn't lack for food. She doesn't lack for attention either.

See, that's Preacher grooming her. Because she tells him to groom her. "Or else I'll bite your ears and Scotty won't do anything about it!"

Sonya is so full of herself. She thinks she's nature's gift to all dogkind.

"Netty, does this sweater make me look fat?"

How can I say "yes" to those sad puppy eyes?

*No, you don't Sonya."

Spoiled, spoiled dogs!

Best In Show The End

The dogs at the dog show are the best of the best. They were meticulously bred to conform to physical standard, for health and sound temperament, and to continue the integrity of the breed with genetic pedigree. The puppies were loved and cared for from the moment they were born, trained, nurtured, and cherished even after they cross the rainbow bridge. They receive ribbons in recognition of accomplishments in physical perfection, intelligence, and prowess. Their pictures are taken to commemorate a milestone.

Cane Corso, Working Group

All ribbons, photos, and pedigrees aside, we humans love our furry family.

Poodle, Non-Sporting Group

   Afghan Hound, Hound Group

 Irish Setter, Sporting Group

 Poodle, Non-Sporting Group

 Clumber Spaniel (baby), Sporting Group

And our dogs love us, unconditionally, to the end.

 

 Boxer, Goofy, er, I mean Working Group

 

The End

Best in Show Part 4

Focus

My favorite events at a dog show are Obedience Trials and Agility Trials in that order. Both sports take a lot of preparation, devotion, consistency, and focus between the handler and the dog. A dog that gazes with such intensity into his/her master's eyes is most likely an obedience or agility dog.

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Toy Group

Golden Retriever, Sporing Group

Poodle, Toy Group

Here is where the focus and eye contact come into play. This exercise is called the Drop On Recall. At the judge's cue, the handler leaves the dog at one end of the ring, and positions her/himself at the other end.

The handler calls the dog, but before the dog gets to her, she orders the dog to drop into the down position.

At the judge's cue, the handler calls the dog again, into the "front" position, where the dog sits squarely at the feet of the handler.

Portuguese Water Dog, Working Group

The exercise finishes where the dog get's into heel position, square at the handler's left side.

Belgian Tervuren, Herding Group

"Heel" position is where the dog stays square at the handler's left side, whether stationary or in motion, turning left, right, about face.

Can you see now the importance of eye contact during this exercise?

Another exercise is the Sit and Stay, and Down and Stay. The dogs are lined up at one side of the ring, and at the judge's cue the handlers leave their dogs in the sitting or laying positions. They leave the ring for three minutes, out of sight.

As you can see, the Manchester Terrier does not pass this Sit and Stay exercise.

In this Down and Stay exercise, the Golden Retriever is obviously to anxious to stay down. While the Border Collie is totally at ease even in the absence of her handler. Did the lack of eye contact cause the Manchester and the Golden to lose their focus? Hmmmm...

The sport of Agility is an obstacle course with various apparatus that challenge the dog's acrobatic ability. The team competes to run the course as fast as they can. And of course, the dog will only know which hurdle to jump, which chute to go through, and when to weave through the poles by watching the handler's cues.

Standard Poodle, Non-Sporting Group

These sports require such intense focus!

Best In Show Part 3

Watch the Hair

At the end of the day, if you get a ribbon you also take a picture. And of course, you want to make sure your... ahem! I mean, the dog's hair is perfect for the shot.

Cardigan Welsh Corgi

Two models.

Afghan Hound

 Furfect.

 Fara Fawcett.

  

Fara?

Afghan Hound, Ken and Barbie's Dog

Fabio.

Fabio?

Not too short...

Clumber Spaniel 

Watch it, watch it! Don't mess with the hair!

 

Old English Sheepdog

It took all afternoon to get it teased just right.

Best in Show Part 2

Judging

Show dogs endure so much humiliation. Sometimes I wonder what goes through their mind as they get manhandled from tip to tip. No lip goes unturned.

*Ugh, lady did you use hand sanitizer? By the way, is that a trace of Snickers bar I taste?*

 No testicles go unfelt.

*Um, that wasn't Snickers, was it...*

*Nigel, I seriously need my dignity back!*

 

According to the AKC Basset Hound standards, here are the disqualifications:

1. Height of more than 15 inches at the highest point of the shoulder blade. 
2. Knuckled over front legs. 
3. Distinctly long coat.

Wait, are they talking about me?!

*Yes Nigel, that fashionably cool squeaky toy will do, thank you.*

Best In Show Part 1

This weekend I went to a dog show. For those of you who are unfamiliar with these events, the highlight of a show is the conformation ring, where only one out of one thousand seven hundred dogs is selected for Best in Show. But of course, my favorite events are obedience, followed by agility, which I will show you in a separate post. 

When you walk into a show venue, this is what you see... Rings sectioned off by two-foot fences.

And crates. Hundreds and hundreds of crates. It's the safest place for a dog to be, what with all the thousands of other dogs in attendance. One dog is bound to get the stink-eye from another one, and BAM! you have yourself a dog fight. Also, it's a safe place to leave your dog while you go do whatever it is that humans do preferably without their four-legged companion in tow. Like, going to the bathroom.

For all intents and purposes, in conformation a dog is selected by how well his/her physical structure conforms with the American Kennel Club standards. I don't know much about this, so visit the American Kennel Club for details. Preacher, for instance, is a near perfect representation of the Doberman Pinscher.

That's my Preacher Man!

Handlers (the people who show the dogs in the ring) will fuss, and fuss, and fuss just to get the dog to stack up just right, so that the judge can do her/his thing. (Another separate post on judging.)

Doberman Pinscher, Working Group

Personally, I don't see correct angles, flawless gaits, complete dentition, etc., etc., etc. THIS is what I see...

Sweet, darling souls bundled up in little packages of fur...

Yorkshire Terrier, Toy Group

 Regal creatures that look fit to stand by a king.

Great Dane, Working Group

Goofy punks who need a haircut.

Black Russian Terrier, Working Group

Loyal protectors who don't care so much about posing for a judge.

St. Bernard (Shorthaired), Working Group

Guardians who make their handlers look good.

German Shepherd, Working Group

Titles and ribbons, that if given the choice, the best dog in show might rather chew to shreds.

Oh, I couldn't choose just one. I'd choose ALL of them!

In my eyes, they're all the best.