Best in Show Part 2

Judging

Show dogs endure so much humiliation. Sometimes I wonder what goes through their mind as they get manhandled from tip to tip. No lip goes unturned.

*Ugh, lady did you use hand sanitizer? By the way, is that a trace of Snickers bar I taste?*

 No testicles go unfelt.

*Um, that wasn't Snickers, was it...*

*Nigel, I seriously need my dignity back!*

 

According to the AKC Basset Hound standards, here are the disqualifications:

1. Height of more than 15 inches at the highest point of the shoulder blade. 
2. Knuckled over front legs. 
3. Distinctly long coat.

Wait, are they talking about me?!

*Yes Nigel, that fashionably cool squeaky toy will do, thank you.*